I decided to compile poems I wrote in the past in another blog. You can check them out here if you like.

Disclaimer: I am not a good writer. But I do like to write. So please bear with my writings if you do check it out.

spidey!

it was much better than i expected, man. there wasn't that much violence typical of a hero movie and it was funny, too. really witty humor. great facial expressions by toby maguire. plus, spidey must be the sexiest superhero with that costume hugging his body tight. wohoo! a hero story with a real heart. great effects, too.

loved it.

conversations with mom.

as any typical call from my mother, there is always the question of... you guessed it, "may boyfriend ka na ba?"

it has been a silly routine that i have gotten used to and at the same time, i have learned to enjoy the familiarity of the memorized script. but then last wednesday, shechanged the script.

mom: ano, may boyfriend ka na ba?
me: wala pa rin.
mom: huwag kang mag-alala. darating din yan.
me: (slight giggle.) oo.

i think i was successful at hiding my surprise. but, boy was i shocked. why the sudden change of lines? where did, "huwag muna, bata ka pa" go? (until what age, i wonder, will she say bata pa ako?)

somehow, i have a feeling that mother's instincts were on full gear that day. man, she knows something is going on. how she does, i don't know. that will remain to be one of the eternal mysteries of nature.

the conversation actually landed on my amusing happenings of the day list. hahaha!

i'm a wus

blessings do pour on when you are willing to accept them.

after having that nice coffee date with solace, D texted and so did Ga. both were telling me how i was sorely missed and dearly loved.

i couldn't help but cry, being the wus that i am. for many days and weeks, God and people have been showing me and making me realize how beautiful a person i am. affirmations have been coming in about how i am important to them. all these happening when i needed no affirmation. my heart was overflowing with joy. how can a person be so loved by so many people? only now did i realize how possible it could be.

i used to think that you could only cry from so much love when looking in the eyes of your beloved one. yesterday, disproved that. that text from ga just made me cry. "ga, tandaan mo na mahal na mahal kita. yakap kitang lagi. wag ka ding bibitaw sa yakap mo." more or less that was what he said. the tears just started welling. you could actually cry from someone you love platonically, as long as you are truly loved and you are truly loving.

if one could be so overwhelmed by human love, how much more God's love? that was one of my thoughts after receiving the text. more tears just started flowing.

i may be a wus, but at least i am a loved wus. :)

yey! i'm suzie. :)



I'm suzie, who are you? by Dru & Lexi

i love any rugrat, though. even angelica.

a fish called anj.

my old boss and officemate from avellana actually named their fish after me and another guy from work who had a crush on me.

anj and ben are going to live in the same tank. interesting. one of them will end up floating before the end of the month. hahaha!

seriously, i was touched by the gesture.
(though i would have prefered being named after a cat.)

hmm...

my post yesterday is not showing on the actual page. why is that?

problems at work are making me hungry. as in, super hungry. i want steak!

gurl talk.

solace passed by the office today. we were both jumping for joy because of her acceptance into the MA psychology program of the ateneo. nyai, she's going to be classmates with a lot of JVPs. that would certainly be an experience for her.

anyway, we went off for coffee at starbucks and to have some girl chit-chat.

let me digress before i go on with my story. my ex and his gf were there and my could've been-ex was also there. i wanted to run after could've been ex to talk to him about certain business stuff (which was supposed to by excuse for us to reconnect), but he was leaving already. so it did not seem appropriate. anyway, the coincidence was just too amusing for me. but i had the perfect company for the circumstance.

anyway, there was so much catching up to do with solace. so many wonderful things have happened with her life. lovelife. career. changes. all of them so beautiful. and it shows physically (solace, you are so pretty and blooming and beautiful talaga!). one can only be so happy, so enthralled and so thankful for her blessings. just gives you an idea how amazing the world can be.

and it was great for me, too. our little talk has allowed me to purge my emotional constipation. and it was not the type of angsty emotions, but rather joyous, thrilling stories i never really got to talk about. it was only then that i realized how much i have been looking at the world with clear eyes and a much clearer heart. everything enchanting i experienced doubled in effect once i started telling her about it. and to be understood, to be empathized with allowed me to mirror who i have become.

solace was also able to witness how gushy and giddy i was about him. and i only found out i was that when i was telling her the itty-bitty details of the blossoming whatever i have with this person. my ears and face was so hot from the story-telling.

definitely a good day for me.

again, solace, thanks for being my medicine. and letting me realize the buoyancy of it all.
hugs!

noel. bayang. gary. joey.
o kayong nasa bistro.

sumasayaw na naman
ang iyong mga daliri
sa gitara mong
siyang entablado nila.

sa pagpikit
ng mga nangungusap
mong mga mata,
nakikita kung paano mo
sisirin ang kalaliman
ng kalawakan
upang mahanap
ang mga salitang
bibigkas
sa hinagpis
at pangarap
ng aking
kamalayang
naghahanap
ng katuturan
at kahulugan.

sa pag-ahon ng
tinig mo sa ingay
ng nagsasalpukang bote
at nagkukuwentuhang puso,
tinatangay ang damdaming
matagal nang
dinurog ng panahon.

ang iyong awit
ang siyang
muling naghahabi
ng aking pira-pirasong
kaluluwa.

i'm this.





but i want this!

nye.





which 80s hair band are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

yey!





which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

I FEEL SO LOVED AND BLESSED.

love thoughts.

my mind never fails to fly during the mass. one time, i told mimo about it and he told me not to worry, it happens to him all the time, too. and he was the one saying the mass. that was a relief.

anyway, that's not my story tonight.

during the mass i was thinking about love. but then the past few days, weeks, months... i don't know... the past few whatevers... when i think of love, it's not about getting swept of your feet or having your heart race at the sight or even just the thought of him. well... i still do get those moments but it has come to a point where it hardly matters anymore. when i think of love, i think of mindoro and my seminarian boys whose faces light up whenever i walk up the main path. or my pangantucan students who jump up and run to me after being surprised by my presence. or an unknown number registering on my phone only to end up being one of my students. or my 3 month baby laughing whenever i talk or coo to him. or when the volunteers hug me and thank me for a letter i wrote or just being there. love has become that.

love has become real for me. it has stopped being romantic. love is not about getting hurt because a loved-one has failed to greet you happy anniversary, or fails to show up for a date. love is about getting hurt because your student won't be able to go to school and knowing you can't do anything but tell her that there are other things they can do with their life even if they didn't finish their studies. love is all about going on and loving still even if you are so wounded by the things you can never control.

hell... i don't know what i am talking about. but the past few years, there has been a redefinition of things for me. though i tried so much to get rid of romantic notions of love, it stuck with me. i have been brainwashed by fairy tales and classic love stories on film. everything changed during my jvp years. things seemed so difficult, so hard to understand. but now that i am able to look back at my life with fondness... there is an overwhelming feeling in my heart. i look back and smile and i can confidently say to myself, "you have loved, angie." there have been so many times that i wanted to give up on others, and on myself. i questioned the decisions i made, the reasons i gave. everything seemed doubtful. but it felt i had no choice at that time. people were expecting things from me. i had to deliver. but now, i know i was able to do those things because i loved the people i was doing it for. they may hurt me over and over, but i will still go on for them again and again.

and now, i reap my rewards.
one of my former students showed me three little notes that i wrote him. they were in his wallet. i felt so rich. i did matter. i mattered a lot.

dancerous.

just spend the night watching "coyote ugly." which made me all riled up and feeling dancerous. since there were no other cds in the house that i could dance to but TLC, i stuck it into our computer player and danced to "no scrubs." it hasn't sunk in that left-eye died. good thing america won't be doing any mega-hype the way the philippines did with rico yan.

anyway...

with the garter of my shorts slightly loose, the shorts fell nicely on my hips. my shirt, i tied up to expose my belly. the way i looked wasn't that bad if you ask me. turned the music way up and danced. of course, all these through closed doors. boy, it felt so good. how i want to dance some more. but in real trendy clothes. too bad i don't have the guts to wear the lace blouse rotting in my closet.

I WANT TO DANCE SOME MORE!!!