time to go.

i had to waste several hours here in the office because i was supposed to meet a friend from naga this afternoon but he didn't show up. communication problems. sheesh1 fortunately, my seminarian friends from mindor were in san jose so i had a chance to talk to one of them, who was also my co-teacher during my teaching days in SAS.

but he had to go by 5:30. that means i still had two hours to go before i go to cubao and ride my bus to naga. sheesh.

luckily, there's internet in the office so i just fooled around for a while. still, i would have rather stayed home and rested. but well, c'est la vie.

* * * * *

so off i go to naga. but i will have to get some dinner before i get to the bus station. even though my head is still throbbing from the lack of rest. and my mind is contantly worrying on how to manage my time for the next two to three weeks, i will gladly go. i simply love the place and the people. and PLANET B. it's a great bar. more fun than those here in manila (maybe because their prices are cheaper). but certainly, those bicolanos know how to have fun!

au revoir. adios. bye. me and my trusty blue bag are ready to go.

my favoritest cartoons.



these two are the greatest friends. :)



and the whole gang!



and how i miss that sexy voice of ranma. too bad they aren't showing it on any of the channels.



ryoga, i say is the sexiest pig alive. hehehe! but, as a human... he's doing as great, too.

unfortunately, i can't find a decent picture of the "hey, arnold" cast to post here. but i just love that cartoon, too. several times it has almost made me cry.

a cool drawing of legolas.

my middle-earth fortune.

Today's Prophecy for August-born
1/18/2002

Look not to bears or Harfoots for an example to follow. Watch the folk of the Blue Mountains instead.*
- Malbeth the Seer -

pasensiya na, ramon

i was browsing through your website and read through your poems. like i told you before, they are great. when i came to your poem for rose, i just had to get these lines. how i missed her. how i wish i could talk to her about the job. how i wish i knew how she felt about me landing where i am now. how i wish i could tell her everything that has been bottled up for so long because i can never find anyone who listens like she does.

and now that she is gone, how i wish that i, too, can have a heart as loving and as forgiving as her heart. *sigh!*

funny, though. but i am wearing her heart on my finger. she gave it to me in calapan and saying to me, "para sa mga mamahalin mo pa." right now, i wonder to myself... where are you audrey? and my loving heart might have just been buried with her.

i miss her dearly, ramon.

I wish I could borrow her eyes and understand
how forgiveness and acceptance heal heart, and
how hope and prayer rise beyond clouds and
stars. And learn how small shoulders can carry
much pain and burden even those not its own,
and how faint heartedness never win you battles

* * * * *

and i miss you a lot, too.

talking about the absurdest things. dentists. teeth. mojos and tabatas. love. stars. area. boy bands. tabing ilog ( i owe you updates). partners. pot. skiing. first time. vocation... so many other things. whether they make sense or not.

allegro isn't the same without you. brought a boy there once. good thing we didn't stay on the couch because i didn't have much fun. and it would have been such a violation.

to more beauty in life, ramon. cheers! wherever you may be.

hugs! (you know how tight i embrace you.)

more morning rituals

this was my video-ok song when we still had home cable (we shifted to destiny because we'd rather have star network than video-ok). never left for work without singing it. hehehe!

way to go, linkin park!

In The End

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

Chorus

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (2x) Chorus

poems.

from "My Girl"

Weeping willow with your tears running down,
Why do you always weep and frown,
Is it because he left you one day,
Is it because he could not stay,
On your branches he would swing,
Do you long for the happiness that they would bring,
He found shelter in your shade,
He thought his laughter would never fade,
Weeping willow stop your tears,
There is something to calm your fears,
You think death as if you forever part,
But I know he'll always be in your heart.

i'm not sure if the last line is correct. anyways, i absolutely love this movie. i just kept crying and crying in the end. too bad, the sequel was no way near at par with the first. and worse, anna chlumsky didn't have any follow-up movies after "gold digger." or if there was, it must have been quite forgettable.

* * * * *

from "Ten Thing I Hate About You"

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh even worse when you make me cry
I hate it that you're not around and the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
not even close, not even a little bit, not even any at all.

and i love this movie, too. i could watch it over and over and just simply die laughing. or maybe die from ogling heath ledger. just love the dude's accent. and man, the way he made a fool of himself in school just made him a little more delicious than he already is. drool!

the moon.

on my way out of bellarmine building, i could not help but be stunned by its imposing beauty. just a small orangish sliver in the middle of the fuzzy dark blue sky. smiling at whoever dared to look at it. i could not help but smile back. it sort of reminded me of the cheshire cat in "alice in wonderland." the cat whose grin was always the last to go away.

very, very beautiful. it made me feel glad that i spent most of night in the office.

too bad the buildings around katipunan blocked my view on the way to gate three. but riding the taxi home, it felt like a looming entity was watching over the entire city, taking care of the people many of whom were unknowing of its presence.

but i witnessed it, in all its majesty.

* * * * *
i would have wanted to kiss him under that moon. but, i would want to kiss him anytime, anyway. hahaha!

mga pahabol.

had a lot of things to finish before i go home. and it was still not totally finished because one article was not able to come in. this office has been in warp zone speed since there has been so much that needs to be done. our program with the most things to do, with all the site investigations that will be going on for the next three weeks.

there would be no weekend for me for the next four to five weeks. i have to visit several bicol provinces next week (starting tomorrow!). then conduct re-interviews for the manila applicants. the week afterwards, i will be island hopping around visayas.

on the downside: this would be awfully tiring for me. plus, i won't be able to spend time with our new baby. the stork brings the delivery on monday to my sister. and for the fourth time, i have not been around to witness her giving birth.

on the plus side: so many places to discover!!! i just hope i have the energy to enjoy them all since my schedule is quite tight. i can't wait to get a glimpse of bacolod and dumaguete (though dumaguete is only a stop over)! i also get the chance to stop over by cebu and give my little pamangkins embraces. i miss them so much. the house is different without them... and i digress.

* * * * *

"rugrats" has been my daily morning routine before i go to the office. and our suspension of disbelief of the agelessness of the characters have been ingrained. we know that neither tommy nor chucky, even angelica and the twins... none of them will ever age, right? but it was just funny when i realized that tommy is the same age he was when dee (his mom) discovered that she was pregnant with dil as he was when dil was around six months. wala lang. just thought of it. nobody really cares about these things, right?

* * * * *

hey, rowster. thanks for helping fix my blog. you're the best. i haven't watched "american adobo" yet, so we might be able to set a date next week since you will be kinda free. good luck to mikoid, by the way. and happy birthday, too.

* * * * *

i was so inspired by one of the applicant's essay and interview. so i am looking forward to talking to him. he currently holds a high position in an well-respected insurance agency, handling several agents. his boss died. after that, there has been stirrings in his heart that he cannot fully understand. stirrings that have caused him to think of his life directions, of actually feeling that even if he does great with his work it was not enough. on the mass for the 40th day, he heard a voice telling him, "you have to go." and that you have to go is to JVP.

i have high respect for people like him. people who know how to let go of everything that they have in pursuit of a uncertain certainty (if i may call it that). something that they do not but they are sure that is for them.

this man has his own car, his own apartment and he can keep on earning the salaray that he has. but he is letting it go because he feels that there is something else much more for him. not necessarily material, but rather a temporal reality that only a few have the courage to make the choice.

i wish him luck.

* * * * *

naga! here i come.

maybe i can finally get my picture taken by the famous pillars of ADNU.

argh. :)

the jeep stopped 20 meters where i was supposed to.
my mrt card got slightly folded so it was rejected but the guard was able to fix it.
the fx went straight to marikina without passing by katipunan.

awfully late. but it doesn't matter because i finished "The Two Towers" na! yey.

hm, am not feeling bad naman pala. good.
off to lunch though am not really hungry because i had my dinner and breakfast at 10 am.
au revoir for now.

last-minute peek.

i am just about to go home. the office has been deserted since seven pm. good thing i was too busy worrying about the publications that my mind did not have enough room for my imagination to run wild. several psychics have sensed a presence in the room that i was working in. but i think she's friendly so she'd just keep me company.

sigh. tired.

and i haven't prepared for my naga trip yet. shucks.

on saturday, i will see my baby boy from naga who has come to visit me. how sweet! yours truly will alse be having lunch with my theologian friends from the seminary. there's a convention in san jose this weekend meaning... BOYS ALL AROUND! hahaha!

sigh. i should call the guard now.
* * * * *

what the hell is the cat doing inside the room?! in the silence of the office, suddenly a loud meowing invades.

* * * * *

siya, bagamat marami pa akong gustong sabihin, nararapat na magpaalam na.
by the way, had a great time reading the reports.
and the montalban volunteers passed by this afternoon, too. i missed them. kept on playing with their love handles (which has expanded a little more because their mothers in the area kept on feefing them.)

ENOUGH! paalam na talaga.

The Horse

Active, alert, outgoing, adventurous, eloquent, quick tempered. - all true.

Horse people are popular, cheerful and love to compliment others. They act quickly, and have short tempers. Although they seem strong and inspire confidence, deep inside they are weak, particularly around members of the opposite sex. - some additional truth amplified by being a leo.

"Love is blind" must have been written for horse people. When in love, they can shut out everything else, which can cause them to fail at their work. - consciously trying not to be so.

They are passionate in love, but can be maddeningly indifferent about other causes. People born in this sign like large crowds and entertainment. Because of their independant nature, they refuse to listen to advice. They are usually good money managers. - some true, some not as true.

Famous Horses
Rowan Atkinson, Ingmar Bergman, Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Cindy Crawford, James Dean, Clint Eastwood, Britt Ekland, Linda Evans, Ella Fitzgerald, Harrison Ford, Bob Geldof, Gene Hackman, Rita Hayworth, Jimi Hendrix, Janet Jackson, Paul McCartney, Barbra Streisand, Raquel Welch, John Travolta, Michael York. - i love most of these people!

Typical Occupations
Athlete, Technician, Administrator, Chauffer, Inventor, Lorry driver, Sales person, Teacher, Reporter, Painter, Advertising executive, Poet, Hairdresser, Publican, Tour guide. - ah... not all of them seem to appeal to me.

Lucky Numbers
1, 3, 4, 8, 13, 14, 41 and 43. -yeah, baby!

Life is about to get interesting.

Dunno if i'm happy with this. But it sounds fine to me.
Too weird.

A-type Cinderella Type
Just like Cinderella, you were the heroine of a beautiful and happy love story in your former life. This does not mean that you were born with this privilege or that you necessarily had this happiness until the end of your life. You actually witnessed the harshness of reality as child, including the loss of your parents and poverty. But all this darkness disappeared the moment you met the love of your life and a new bright light started to shine toward your way. You ultimately gained happiness and honor through love. Both of you genuinely loved each other and enjoyed a blissful life for a very long time. It is just natural that this genuine life in your previous existence can only be a blessing in this present moment. This may be the opportunity to work for charity by helping out other people in need and to be thankful.

solace has plenty of cool tests on her live journal. it would be fun doing them but i got to run home soon. sayang! there are other days. (if i can find a computer and time in the next three weeks!)

Go Faeries!!


Take the What Faery Are You? Quiz!

This quiz was made by lia


hmmm... i like her.
and yes, going through my life, i have realized that the sometimes to get on with life is through surrender.

I took the McDonalds test, and guess what I got?







You can take the
McDonalds Product Test by Matio64
here!

oh, really now?

another busy day. another crazy thought.

there have been so much work going on today. some moments i like it, some moments i just want to throw the stupid computer out the window. more or less, things are better with the publications that i am making. though the printer needs a little more loving because he's way damn sloooow.

anyways, i have been reading through some of the application essays of wannabe volunteers. and i can't help but be reminded by my own story, my own journey during JVP year. those two years that have molded me into a different person... so different from the one who left behind opportunities for success simply because i am an ateneo graduate.

and "ruined for life" is a tagline so well understood by those who have gone through the experience. i do so feel that now. sometimes, people can hardly understand how and why i have become the person that i am. to have seen a different side of life... to have experienced something unusual to the way you used to live... it will move in ways you yourself don't understand.

there have been many personal sacrifices made. and until now, i am feeling the results of that one decision to say "yes" to an unknown. how heavy and how deep that "yes" meant. sometimes, painful. sometimes, joyful. always, meaningful.

at this point, seeing people who were as naive and as idealistic as i was when i was applying... i can feel the fire burning once more. even if i know that many people seem to admire the decision i took to leave a job where i had so much potential to bloom, it still does not seem enough for me.

everytime i visit a requesting area, i wish i had the guts to forget about finances and simply work where i am more needed. i would rather be the person doing the job than just matching the person to the area. sigh!

how i miss the action.
and moreso, how i miss the people who gladly accept you for what you are. without wanting to change you, without wondering why you are the way you are. they are simply thankful that you have chosen to be part of their lives. thankful because they know how much you sacrificed.

someday... i will gather the courage to do that once again.
right now, i will just do my best to love and guide these people in their journeys.
this is not just my job now. this is my life.

pagod!!!