black saturday

since this is the only chance i can go out, i took it.

watched three movies with my bro.
ice age
blade 2
the time machine

they all have great entertainment value. blade is too gory for my taste, though. something i will not watch on my own.
ice age is fun. very typical kid movie with lovable characters who you would want to buy from a toystore after watching the movie.
time machine i shall nominate for special effects and production design for next year's oscars.

* * * * *

had my weekend film developed already. finally, i have a great picture of myself.
kept looking at the picture of my seminary boys. grabe! miss ko na sila.
and of course, the eo pix. cuuuuute baby!!!!

good friday.

had a good good friday yesterday.

locked up in my room, reading the bible (after quite some time) and some jesuit homilies to help me reflect worked wonders for me. there were so much realizations on Christ and His love for me and my own sinfulness. at the same time, i am always awed by His greatness to forgive. even those who have hurt him in body and heart. my journal got filled up with all the thanks i have for Him.

more than the suffering on the cross (though definitely, it is very meaningful), it was his outstreched arms that caught me for this holy week. arms ready for embrace anytime i decide to return. how open it is. waiting for my time, never imposing His.

such a beautiful God.
such a loving God.

what are you?


Which Member of the Endless Are You?

i like. maybe i also have a beautiful mind.


Which Member of the Endless Are You?

but i really love this picture of death.

You're the HREF tag- you need someone to lean on and take care of you. You can be shy but you shine in difficult situations.

k...

Jesus Christ and 70s

To tell you the truth, I have seen neither the on stage or on screen versions so I was quite excited to see it.

I have not seen Bistro that jam-packed!

Jesus Christ Superstar was more of a concert than it is a play. Which did not make it less appealing nor less meaningful. The band was spectacular (not to mention, two out of three of the guitar players were eye candy! Hehehe!) and so were the back-up vocalists.

The cast were amazing. Most of them delivered powerful performances. Though I was particularly moved by Rico Blanco's performance of Judas. During the start of the play, he seemed to have a difficult time with all his ligaments showing from the effort. But during the second act, he was more relaxed and more internalized. The confusion of Judas was so clear on his face he actually made me pity him... and to see Judas as more than just a traitor.

As a result of his brilliant performance, I have a crush on Rico B. again. Yuck!

* * * * *
Since Tatit, Maita and I have become regulars at Bistro, Noel recognizes us already and always makes it a point to sit down on our table and chat. The entire night, he talked to us thrice. We even had our pictures taken with him. He put his hands over Tatit's shoulder, much to her delight. The last time, it was only Tatit and I who were left (We are a bad combination! We stayed behind because we just didn't feel like going home yet). We were telling him to go home and rest already since he was tired (and drunk!). Well, he didn't listen because we still left ahead of him.

Eiza was able to talk to Joey Ayala but he was not as friendly as Noel. But I still have high regard for him. Sigh.

* * * * *
By the way, I showed off my tattoo by wearing the spaghetti strap I bought.
Saw a lot of old acquaitances.
And, I love 70's Bistro.

the weekend i was talking about. part 2.

sunday.
woke at 8am. while everybody else were already traipsing around the halls.
won't make it to the last mass in the cathedral. (forgive us, lord).
had a late breakfast with service extraordinaire by leomar.
my heart was heavy at the thought of having to leave early.
had i not promised tatit that i would go with her to puerto galera, i would have stayed longer. sigh. but a promise is a promise. separation would come sooner or later anyway. sigh.
dhar, ga, plenus, al3rd, mike and bhel brought us to the puerto galera jeepney terminal.
but first, swirly bits at jollibee.

this gets interesting.
tatit and i were the first in the jeep. after several minutes of waiting, we decided to look around first. then we decided to buy green mango. then we decided to buy groceries. after we bought the groceries, i told tatit to go straight ahead to the jeep while i get the mangoes we asked to be peeled. when i saw tatit, there was this worried look on her face.
THE JEEP LEFT ALREADY!!!
OUR BAGS WERE IN THERE!!!
OH NO!!!
luckily, one of the jeepney drivers saw us. the jeep left because we took so long. our bags were transferred to the next jeep in line.
WHEW!!!

our next problem was we didn't have a play to stay yet. there is this possibility that the resorts might be full already since it's already palm sunday.
but that was something we will worry about when we get there.
we both could always camp out.

when we got to white beach, we were lucky enough to haggle the price of the room down by a hundred bucks. summer connection has always been the jvp's favorite resort because it was near our favorite spot on the beach.

changed into swimsuits immediately.
tatit and i are a bad combination.
we ended up having henna tattoos on our back. she had a g-clef on her, while i chose a sunburst with the moon and stars inside the circle.
then more tattooos on our hand, matching this time. topak lang talaga. wonder twins na tuloy kami.
then a massage to untie all those muscle knots.
a dip twenty minutes after the massage. because of the pasma myth.
but neither of us lasted long because the water was so darn cold!
had our tattoos retouched while having dinner.
the tattoo artist was getting too chummy for comfort. ugh.
after dinner, some rest then took a bath.
scoured the beach for interesting sights.
unfortunately, there were little of the delicous delights i was looking for. and if there were, they were gay. sigh.
sat by the beach na lang for some chat on love and life.
went back to the cottage and slept.

woke up early the next day to attempt to snorkel.
unfortunately, the water was to murky.
so we just swam around.
had another massage.
unfortunately it rained.
i like the other masahista better, by the way.
ran back to summer connection for breakfast.
returned to the cottage for a bath.
went ahead to pay for the room and buy tickets.
while waiting for tatit, ended up buying a spaghetti strap shirt to use for showing off the tattoo for the jesus christ superstar show at 70's.
rode the 10.15 lantsa for batangas.
everything after that is irrelevant.

I HAD A GREAT TIME!!!

the weekend i was talking about. part 1.

3.22.2002
11.30 pm
just finished packing my bag for my weekend trip.
alarm clock set for 3.10 am to catch 4.00am trip.
yes... some sleep!

3.23.2002
3.10am
alarm ignored.

3.20am
alarm cannot be ignored anymore.
get up, slowpoke.
bathed and changed clothes.
grabbed bag and asked bro if he was going to see me get a ride.
he did. naks. feeling sweet.

sometime before 4.00am
taxi did not bring me down where he was supposed to.
meaning... i missed my freaking bus.
had to wait for another thirty minutes more before we got to leave for batangas pier.
sheesh.

6.50am
arrived at batangas pier.
damn! supercat leaves at 8:15am.
my seminary boys' graduation is at 8am.
man, missed it for the second year.
what else can i do but wait.
read the newspaper while waiting.

8.15am
yey!

9.10am
caught some of the graduation mass. :)
luckily, did not cause much distraction.
saw one of my older students who left the seminary after graduation. his tummy has gotten twice as large since i saw him last.

9.30am
breakfast with the priests.

10.00am - 3.00am

okay time to detail.
the third year seminarians dragged me along to their gimmick. i had a slight idea that they were going to prepare for the farewell party for the graduating seniors. we rode the old dilapidated blue jeep that i have grown to love to the different areas of the seniors to interview people they worked with. passed by green and golden seas of rice, some ready for harvesting. how i loved it! there was even this carabao frozen in mid-action. can't say whether it was asleep, dead or just hardened from dried mud (though i swear that only happens in cartoons).

i just love those boys that drove me around! they were hilarious company, man. :) everything happened so spontaneously.

3.30pm
got tatit from the pier.
got back to the seminary.
dropped her bags in the guest room.
looked for late lunch.
went to suqui beach for a short tour and some picture taking.

7.00pm
dinner

8.00pm
farewell party...

last year was more tearful (not just because the candle singed my hair while embracing d) because i was closer to that batch but for some reason, i felt sadder this time. maybe because this was the last batch that i taught.

i had this fear that i might not see them again since 4 out of the 7 will not be pursuing the priesthood. and these are the guys i am closer to.
there is this greater fear that i might lose the last connection i have with the life i lived in the seminary. until now, my heart sometimes aches of the thought of not hearing anything from them again. but that is the life of a jvp and the people they meet.

sigh.

i love these boys soooo much. sooo much. they were the fulfillment of my dream to have a school for boys. they really were. (i can feel a lump in my heart and throat as i write this).

when the time came for the goodbye embrace, i just had to hug my ga tight and long. he will always be my little brother...

12.00mn
jamming till 3am

3.00am
sleep. eyes too heavy. didn't get to rest during the day.

my dear sam.

though i was deeply fascinated by the elvishness of legolas and even curious with aragorn's manliness, it has been sam that i admired and respected among the members of the fellowship. being rosie cotton would always be better for lesser beings like me than to be arwen.

Better a hobbit's heart than to lust after a lord

The other day, a bunch of us in the office, Lord of the Rings fans all, were talking about our favourite characters from the book and movie. I said when I was a girl, I loved to imagine myself as Arwen, the dark-haired Elven princess.

Arwen, for those (few) who've neither read the books nor seen the movie, is the heroic beauty who sacrifices her chance at immortality in order to marry her great love, Aragorn, the handsome, brooding warrior who becomes the High King of Middle-Earth.

But, as I joked with the guys here, I didn't end up as Arwen, married to Aragorn. I grew up to be Rose Cotton, married to Sam Gamgee.

That line got a good laugh in the newsroom. Rose Cotton, you see, is no elf princess. She's a short, plump hobbit, with a tendency to be bit bossy with her men-folk. Sam is her hobbit husband, a down-to-earth cook and gardener with hairy feet.

Most of the people I was talking to thought I was taking a shot at my husband. But in actual fact, I think I was really paying him the highest of compliments. As far as I'm concerned, Samwise Gamgee is the real hero of The Lord of the Rings, not Aragorn or Gandalf or Frodo.

Sam isn't a warrior by training or inclination. He isn't looking for glory or adventure.

He gets dragged into danger because of his love and loyalty for his gentle master, Frodo, the soulful hobbit who's been given the great task of destroying the Dark Lord's ring of evil.

As Frodo's squire, Sam travels all the way to heart of the Dark Lord's kingdom, battling orc-goblins, giant spiders and his own fears and frailties. He fights as bravely as any of the story's flashier knights -- more bravely, because he's no superhero with a magic sword, just an ordinary guy overtaken by extraordinary circumstances.

But his real heroism lies in his unshakeable loyalty to his best friend, and in his unshakeable loyalty to his hobbit values, his moral code.

When all the battles and quests are over, Sam returns to his prosaic hobbit life, marrying Rose, raising kids, planting trees and nurturing the community he loves.

The problem is, our culture doesn't validate the heroism of the Samwise Gamgees of this world. The romantic heroes every teenage girl is taught to pine for are the Byronic brooders like Aragorn.

But outside of books and movies, Aragorn-types are hard to come by. So, for that matter, are fantastically beautiful Arwen elf princesses.

No wonder so many people end up disappointed and disillusioned, hoodwinked by our cult of romantic love, which tells us that if we don't end up with an Arwen or an Aragorn, we have failed in the game of life.

On Valentine's Day, in particular, anyone, married or single, who doesn't have a storybook romance is all but encouraged to feel dissatisfied and cheated.

But life is not a fairy tale and love is not a myth. And this is my valentine to my husband, my Samwise Gamgee. I call him that, not because he's short and stocky and hairy-toed -- though he is. I call him that because he's brave and funny and loyal and kind, because he's a fabulous cook who makes the best fried mushrooms I've ever tasted.

He's my hero, because when our daughter breaks a toy he takes out his super-glue and puts the little pieces back together. He's my hero, because when I'm sick he makes me steaming cups of honey-lemon water and steaming pots of chicken soup and rubs my back. He's my hero, because he can roll out a pie-crust, change a tire in a blizzard and settle our little girl to sleep faster than anyone else.

Is he perfect? Far from it. About as far as I am.

Here's my advice on this St. Valentine's Day. Don't flagellate yourself if you're not embroiled in a big-screen love affair with a perfect prince or princess. Whether you're coupled or single, straight or gay, spend today celebrating the heroism of real love -- not "romance, " but the love of friends and family and community, the "ordinary" garden-variety love that conquers darkness. Don't worry about loving like an elf lord or a princess.

Love like a hobbit.

And may the hair on your toes grow ever longer.

posted by cross eyed bear at 6:37 AM

ed asner's speech

his speech at the screen actors guild awards was deeply moving.

Thank you, Tom. [applause] Thank you, Tom. He’s so big. [laughter] It’s really tough talking to his armpit, but I love him.

Charlie, my son, this thing is heavier than you are. [laughter] And this thing almost makes one forget one’s mortality. But as Robert Redford said in “The Candidate,” when he won the election, “What do we do now?”

How grateful I am to my peers who’ve always been there, and particularly to the peers of S.A.G., who chose me for this award. Here’s to all the crews, casting directors, directors, writers, producers, and of course, all those people of good taste who liked my work, [laughter] and made this award possible.

I thank God I’m no longer young enough to know everything. But one of the things I do know is that there are many countries in the world where the life achievement award is just that: achieving life. I’m so glad I won the American life achievement award, which to me means living with purpose and passion.

I love acting, being an actor, and in youth I wandered from play to play as if in a dream. And wonder of wonders, I woke up and found myself to be an actor. Well, actually, it was quite easy. Because firstly, I stunk as a cabdriver. [laughter] And secondly, I was babied and cushioned all along the way by my families, my friends, those peers again and my country -- my country, which forever instills in us the desire to do what we wish, to be what we wish. Our country, which tells us, “Try it, you’ll like it,” or “Why not? What are they going to do, shoot you?” [laughter] Not here.

Not ever.

And so if I ended up being a decent actor, it’s because I didn’t have to worry about getting shot. Those there were some minor critics who recommended it. [laughter]

I pray that we retain that spirit of trying, of experimenting, of challenging, of keeping America fresh, innovative, a work in progress, and that we promise ourselves, above all, to reject the sacrifice of principle for playing it safe. Let’s keep turning those lousy cabdrivers into decent actors, and never, never, never regret saying, “Why not? What are they going to do, shoot you?”

Thank you. [applause]



more screen actors guild

matagal na rin akong hindi nakakasulat dito.

tambak ng trabaho. there have been times that i have been asked to break hearts and spirits. and there were moments where i am a harbinger of good news.

pero okay lang naman. enjoy ako. for some weird reason, the flood of work has given me a sort of contentment with myself and my life.

----------------------------------
just had a great weekend in mindoro!
can't detail though i wish i can. just don't have the time.
basta, breakdown:
spend wonderful, crazy moments with my boys.
got TQ19 to sing for them.
went to puerto with TQ19, and we both got henna tattoos and relaxing massages.

basta masaya.
gusto ko lang kasi may masulat na.