funny things happened on the way to tagaytay

1. our car overheated
2. the battery was discharged.
3. the car had to be towed about five kilometers of various turns.
4. we had to commute to tagaytay from santa rosa.
5. the jeeps were always full.
6. ate alma used her power of kapal ng mukha to flag down a private jeep.
7. we got to ride until josephine's (our point of destination).
8. our camera conked out while we were taking a beautiful shot of our backs.
9. ate alma once again used her power of kapal ng mukha to borrow batteries from a bunch of teen-agers who asked their picture to be taken
10. the afternoon was nice and windy.

everything listed down does not sound as exciting, fun and adventurous as it was. but i had a great saturday!

april 20, 2002 shall be forever be embedded in the minds of N, K, Ate Alma, L and moi.

it is not the world that needs to be changed but the eyes that see it.

ramon, aking mahal...

ikaw yata talaga ang true love ko. hehehe! mabuti na lang at napiga na ang lahat ng malisya sa akin at dalisay na ang dumadaloy na pagmamahal sa aking puso.

salamat ng madami sa pagtawag kahit na nasa kabilang dulo ka ng daigdig.

padayon tayo lagi...

mahal kitang lagi, alam mo naman iyon.

mushy.

this song might be appropriate to sing for me by a man who likes me.

DANCE IS MY PASSION!!!

ARTIST: Orleans
TITLE: Dance With Me

Dance with me, I want to be your partner
Can't you see the music is just starting
Night is falling, and I am calling
Dance with me

Fantasy could never be so giving
I feel free, I hope that you are willing
Pick your feet up, and kick your feet up
Dance with me

Let it lift you off the ground
Starry eyes, and love is all around
I can take you where you want to go

Dance with me, I want to be your partner
Can't you see the music is just starting
Night is falling, and I am calling
Dance with me

Let it lift you off the ground
Starry eyes, and love is all around
I can take you where you want to go

Fantasy could never be so giving
I feel free, I hope that you are willing
To pick your feet up, kick your feet up
And dance with me

Dance with me, I want to be your partner
Can't you see the music is just starting
Night is falling, and I am calling
Dance with me, dance with me, dance with me

eyes wide open

one of the activities we usually have for the yearend seminar is the self-portrait where each volunteer is asked to look back at the changes he has experienced throughout the year and to ponder on how he feels about it. when our program officer requested me to do the sharing, i was fearful at first. self-disclosure? to a crowd?

in the end, i did say yes. still with so much fretting.

over the holy week, i ended up looking back at my life. both the pains and the joys. my own Passion, Death and Resurrection.

the year has been quite difficult. especially after shifting jobs and going to JVP. there has been so much challenge on my independence. all the while i thought i was independent since most of the time i fended for myself, i traveled alone and all that. then i realized that my self-assurance came from the approval of others of who i am and what i chose to be. when people seemed to not understand where i was coming from anymore, my life seemed to crumble. it tore me apart knowing that the people i cared for do not understand me.

it was a painful truth. but it was a truth. and i had to live with it. the truth shall set you free, but first it shall make you miserable. and i was.

my desire to be single for life became more real. to be blessed by being single. it wasn't even the issue of not having a romantic relationship but finding confidence in myself and not through others. once there was the realization that it was not the world that was wrong but the way my eyes saw it and how my mind perceived it, i felt in-control again. the world cannot be changed, but the way i see and the way i perceived can be.

after that, things had been going pretty well.

i do not fear being different anymore. sometimes, i pride myself in it. but always, i have accepted who i have become and what i want to be. whether others may or may not see how beautiful i am becoming, i try to not be too bothered about it. my heart realized its own beauty, and with that the world becomes lovelier, too.

am i happy? right now, i am.
but it is the peace and contentment that i revel in right now.
i cherish every moment.
my walks with Him.
our conversations that never go anywhere... but at least we talk.
i sincerely desire to always stay in love with him. there is the recognition of how fleeting in-love can be. But i have faith that if i do fall out... the flames can be rekindled.

:)

during our yearend seminar in cagayan de oro, JVP made sense to me again. God did have a plan for me when I went back. It wasn't clear at first, but right now it does. And then, maybe it won't make sense once more. But there will always be those five days to remind me what a beautiful thing I entered.

Thank you, Lord for clarity of mind.

* * * * *
tomorrow, we will be matching the areas and the volunteers already. i'm pretty excited about it. matching will serve as a crucial point for JVP, the partner institution and the volunteer. it will define the year for everybody.
challenging talaga. there is a constant prayer in my head asking God for guidance. Because we can't play God here. The three of us who will be doing this needs to be moved by the Spirit so as to make the right decisions. wish us luck!

* * * * *
the moon is once again a cheshire cat grin. pretty!

never was i good with lyrics. it was always the way the song rang in my ear that attracted me. this was a sad song pala. nyeh

CRAZY LOVE
(Rusty Young)

Tonight I'm gonna break away
Just you wait and see
I'll never be imprisoned by
A faded memory

Just when I think I'm over her
This broken heart will mend
I hear her name and I have to cry
The tears come down again

It happens all the time
This crazy love of mine
Wraps around my heart
Refusin' to unwind
Ooh, ooh crazy love
ahhhh haaa

Count the stars in a summer sky
That fall without a sound
And then pretend that you can't hear
These teardrops comin' down

It happens all the time
This crazy love of mine
Wraps around my heart
Refusin' to unwind
Ooh, ooh crazy love
ahhhh haaa

Tonight I'm gonna break away
Just you wait and see
I'll never be imprisoned by
A faded memory

It happens all the time
This crazy love of mine
Wraps around my heart
Refusin' to unwind
Ooh, ooh crazy love
ahhhh haaa

Tonight I'm gonna break away

this song is hardly played on the radio, but when i rode the taxi on the way home... it played.

"hands to heaven" was one of the songs i usually request to be played on the guitar but oftentimes the people i ask are not able to. he was able to. (silly grin on my face)

weird than in some way it's sort of true. for the two of us. take note of the sort of, please.
(defensive!)
(at hiniritan ko pa ang sarili ko)
(it's the multiple personlity i have, i think)
(gaga! akala mo lang iyon.)
(anyway... back to the song!)

Hands To Heaven
Breathe

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...

It's great to fall for Him, even if it's only just once in a while.

Nothing is more practical than finding God,
that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you will do with your evenings,
how you will spend your weekends,
what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

Attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-1991)
Superior General of the Society of Jesus 1961-1984

kakaiba ang pakiramdam ng bumalik sa area.

napakalaki ng mga ngiti ng mga taong dating nakaulayaw at nakasama. kahit iilang minuto lang para magpakita at mangamusta, malaki na ang kanilang pasasalamat. masarap pa ring alalahanin ang mga pagkakataon na nakasama ko ang mga estudyante ko. nakakatuwa ding isipan na nuong sandali na nanduon lang ako muli silang nagkasama-sama. tila ba napakahalaga ko na tao para magsama-sama silang muli.

hindi pa rin nawawala sa kanila ang pasasalamat sa aking pagdating noon. baon pa rin nila ang mga alaala ng pagdaan ko kahit panandalian lang. saya!

batch 22

nag-uunahan ang mga luha na pumadausdos palabas na aking mga nag-iinit na mata. ayan silang lahat sa harapan ko... mga basag na nilalang. basag dahil pinili nilang magmahal at magbigay ng puso at kaluluwa. at kahit durog, patuloy pa rin na naniniwala na may liwanag ang buhay at may Diyos na gumagabay. siguro nga, ito ang sari-saring mukha ni Kristo. sila at sugatan ngunit may mga ngiti sa bibig at pag-asa sa mga puso. napakakaganda nilang lahat.

it is not in the length of time but the depth of love that one gets to know a person.

* * * * *

tonight was probably one of the more beautiful city nights i have seen.

it was neither dark nor bright. the mixture of natural and artificial light was just right. with a thousand shades of blue and gray and a slight tinge of pink and red. even the katipunan buildings looked marvelous. God definitely is a superb artist.

so much has happened in the past two weeks. i can't seem to put them down in words. though some of it are on my black journal.

one thing is for certain, though: loving people is such an overwhelming feeling. i have loved intensely once more. and it feels good. :)

my song for God... As I lay me down by Sophie B. Hawkins.

I am passionately in-love with Him right now.

Find out which Moulin Rouge song you are.

maybe it's just the moment. :)