euw.

i think i need more iron in my diet. there are moments i just get dizzy all of a sudden. euw.

cartoons.

i can't wait for return to neverland. the story, i feel, might not be as good as the first. but it doesn't matter. peter pan is back!!! and the lost boys... and hook... and smee... and tinkerbell... most of them are back. yipeee! i loooove peter pan. :)

* * * * *
tarzan is showing on disney channel. another cartoon that hits home. it was showing during my jvp year in bukidnon. with the theme of belonging and looking for a home, it captured what i was feeling back then... and the way i feel now.

there is this tremendous need at the moment for me to understand who i am and what i really am. i feel like a jigsaw puzzle with extra pieces mixed in. i still have to figure out which do and do not belong. something that i am still figuring out along the way.

but anyways, i love the music. i think i will save up to buy the CD.

* * * * *
zoolander.

it was a riot. it's as brainless as dumb and dumber (which i absolutely abhor), but definitely with more charm. and that fountain at the end was really hilarious. it feels great to laugh out loud even by my lonesome. :)

yeah, i know it has been played so much on the radio. but i think it's simply because people can really relate to what it says. having so many people like it should not destroy the essence of what it is saying.

Superman (It's Not Easy)
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It’s not easy to be me.

stolen from a friend who stole it from a friend who also stole it from somewhere...

Five CDs from your collection that you will never get tired of: (this would also include tapes)
1. Eraserheads, "ultraelectromagneticpop"
2. Color it Red, "hand painted sky"
3. The Best of Referendum R & B 3
4. The Best of Referendum Alternative
5. 1997

Five vacations you have taken:
1. Island hopping (Cebu, Iloilo, Aklan and Boracay) '99 with JVPs
2. Baguio '95 with LHC
3. Bohol 2000
4. Tagaytay 2001
5. Manila (when we were still living in Pampanga)

Five Places you just have to go:
1. The whole of Palawan
2. all of Europe
3. Africa
4. Jamaica
5. New York (to visit Zeke, Ramon and everyone there)

Five things you'd like to learn:
1. to play the guitar
2. sign language
3. spanish
4. jazz and street dancing
5. to love unconditionally

Five beverages you drink frequently:
1. water
2. soft drinks
3. lemonade or calamansi
4. more water
5. more calamansi

Five tv shows that were on when you were a kid:
1. batibot
2. sesame street
3. care bears
4. Saturday Fun Machine (a series of shows rather than just one show)
5. he-man

Five tv shows you watch now:
1. rugrats
2. hey, arnold
3. figure it out
4. ally mc beal
5. will and grace

Five places to go in your area: this would be mindoro for me.
1. suqui beach
2. puerto galera
3. the seminary
4. the house where i lived
5. the beautiful, pristine ilog by the foot of halcon

Five things to do when you're bored:
1. Net: check e-mail, blog, read other people's online journals/blogs
2. watch TV
3. read
4. think
5. play with eo :)

Five things that never fail to cheer you up:
1. the rowster calling out of the blue :)
2. my seminarian friends
3. a nice bear hug from q
4. seeing ann
5. traveling


Five Closest Friends of the Same Sex:
1. RABA
2. my female mindoro partner
3. my malaswa sister
4. rose/audrey
5. KC

Five Closest Friends of the Opposite Sex:
1. ramon
2. zeke
3. et phone home
4. q
5. fr. mimo

Five Crushes (Past/Present)
1. legolas
2. hugh jackman in someone like you
3. d
4. fine!... si jeffrey hidalgo
5. cis alvarez

About 20 years ago...
1. I was three years old
2. i was leaving davao for pampanga
3. I believed that bigger kids like me could eat bubble gum and still digest it
4. I insisted that i study or else i would eat my mom's, dad's, bro's and sis' baon everyday
5. i told my mom, "layas." instead, i was the one who left. nyeheh!

About 10 years ago...
1. I entered st. scho for second year high school.
2. beauty and the beast was showing (i found out from e! this pm)
3. I was living in paranaque
4. i thought tony lambino was cute (oh, yuck!)
5. i didn't know any boy.

name game.

my sister did not intend this but it will definitely turn out to be an interesting story to tell when the kids grow older.

nonay.
yano.
one. (pronounced o-neh)
eo.

the last letter of the names of the previous(?), preceding(?) child is the first letter of the name of the child following him/her. and one letter is taken away eveytime a new baby is born. meaning if there would be a fifth child, his/her name would be o. cool!

all that jazz

and i am transported to the 50's and 60's as i listen to sarah vaughan playing on the computer cd player. this afternoon it was a billie holiday and ella fitzgerald trip. yes, the classics. light, easy listening to cool the nerves.

i've always wanted to listen to hotel lounge acts with a piano and live, small orchestra to back up the singer. to stretch it further... i dream of being the jazz lady with the back-up orchestra. but well, i can't even sing rock tunes so i will just stick to listening to them great ones.

baby in my arms!

like i told rowster, fuzzy warm feeling!!!

having little eo (not iyo as i thought) in my arms just makes me feel good and less tired. sigh.
i can't help but smile everytime eo yawns and sighs. and i get distressed everytime he cries (meaning either i holler, "milk" or get ready with the cotton balls to clean up some baby butt - which makes me more distressed. nyehehe!). i can't help but kiss his toes and fingers. and talk to him but just saying the same thing over and over, "hello, eo..." d-uh. can't think of anything else to say.

but i did realize that my tita insticts are stronger than my maternal instincts. it will definitely be a long time before i think of having one of my own. a really long time... (or maybe not at all? - hope not though).

baby!

and my sister finally gave birth last monday.

welcome to the world, iyo. (hey, rowster... they changed their minds about the yuan idea.)

little baby toes.
little baby fingers.
little baby yawns.
little baby eyes.
little baby gums.
little baby nose.
little baby arms.
little baby sighs.
little baby yawns.

sigh. i'm a tita again. :) :) :)

i love bicol!

it has been only my second time in naga. but it is definitely belongs to my list of favorite places in the philippines.
i like the idea that most everything is walking distance to the house that i stayed in. for both work and leisure. ateneo de naga is something like a seven minute walk while the centro around ten minutes. the people are all nice and malambing. and the boys and men! many of them are keks (jvp bading-speak for gwapo.). definitely, eye candies. :) hahaha!

most of all, i like the rice fields. whenever i travel to another town, the road will always cut across the ricefields.

seeing all those farmers working rain or shine. either plowing with their carabaos, or planting the rice in the paddies. knowing that the rice on your plate is the product of both man and God's work. it can sometimes makes me feel guilty whenever i am not able to finish my food.

aesthetically, seeing a sea of green on either side of you also calms the soul. they can either do a slow waltz or a fast can-can depending on how fast the wind wants to go. and anytime you pass by, green or gold always waves at you. hello and good-bye, they say to you.

i also remember one time telling q how nice it is that you could actually look down at the sky. whenever there isn't much wind and the water in the rice paddies are peaceful, it reflects the sky. mud and sky together in one glance. it's worth thinking how something at the bottom can show what's up there. but something up there has gone too high, it can't seem to figure out what's below it anymore.

sigh. bicol reminds me a lot of mindoro. :)

my guardian angel

i love my guardian angel. he or she really takes good care of me. with the number of times that i have travelled in the past four years, there has only been slight problems. nothing that a little wit and some courage couldn't take care of. even if i do not get deep down into my prayer... i never fail to thank god for giving me such a wonderful angel. maybe someday i can figure out his/her name. i have a feeling he's a he. and good-looking, too. hahaha! imaginations running wild destroying even the most holy thoughts. hahaha!

the past few days.

finally, i'm back home. i never realized one can ever get travel weary... much less me. but i guess, everyone has their limits. in a span of three days, i have been to three places on five different kinds of buses and hearing three different dialects and met a lot of interesting kind of people. physically, my body is tired. but my mind is reeling with wonder and beauty. :)

here are some snippets from my travelling journal written on a black notebook with an apple-green gel pen.

January 19, 2002. 11:11 PM. Quezon Terminal.

what a waste. i ate only half of my hawaiian zinger earlier this evening thinking i can feat on it later on... or so i thought.
i awoke feeling hungry, ready to eat the other half. when i picked up the zinger, i was wondering where the top bread went. upon closer examination, there were ants all over!
ten or twenty i could understand. but for a whole colony to be in an air-conditioned bus is a mystery to me.
where could they have built their home?
but such is the mystery of life.
good thing they didn't get to my lemonade, too.
i'm hungry. *sulk.*
* * * * *
i like this bus (isarog lines express). it's single seater, they turn off the lights and the music is played low just to lullabye you to sleep.

January 20, 2002. 8:35 PM. JVP House Naga.

rest. at last. finally, a decent rest day. no tv. no going out. just lying on my back the whole morning listening to sting or bukas palad to appease stressed-out nerves.
it did calm me out a little after a whole week of tension and stress.
nice.
i am having trouble breathing though.

January 21, 2002. 11:11 PM. JVP House Naga.

a few hours and a year ago was our first kiss. under the stars standing in the middle of the ateneo eagle's park, the night after the proclamation of gloria as president. after dancing sweetly to unfit tunes. hahaha! wala lang. just remembered.
* * * * *
R called. girlfriend. mga kapraningan namin. happy ones and unknown ones.
nice to have her as a girlfriend.
wala lang. basta.
headache.
love you, god. i do. i do. i do.
my guardian angel, too. bow ako sa kanya.